Wednesday, October 3, 2007

My new mission

I discovered my mission in life. Can you guess what it is?

"To be the best mother and wife," you say? "To be a useful, productive human being," you ask?

No. While those are worthwhile missions, my mission is much more important. My mission in life from here on out will be to convince people NOT to put carpet in their dining rooms.

I don't know who came up with the fantastic idea to put carpet in my dining area, but that person should be reprimanded. Severely.

So here are my 15 reasons why you should NEVER, EVER put carpet in a dining room.

1. Play dough
2. Spaghetti sauce
3. Chocolate ice cream
4. Chocolate pudding
5. The smell of Spot Shot
6. $80 cleaning bills
7. Macaroni and cheese
8. Macaroni and cheese after it has been digested and then puked up by a toddler
9. Finger paint
10. Kool Aid
11. Jello
12. Chili
13. Coffee (Okay, so I don't drink it, but if I did I'm sure I would have spilled some on that stupid carpet.)
14. Kids who think it's funny to throw food on the floor
15. Adults who can't seem to get through a meal without spilling something (i.e. Jamie)

I'm sorry if this is offensive to anyone who has put carpet under their dining table on purpose, but I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! We went to Home Depot this last week to look at replacing the floor in our kitchen and dining space. Unfortunately, it is going to have to wait for a while. (Especially now that we might have to replace the oven.)I guess I'll go call the carpet cleaners . . . that nasty, stinky Spot Shot just isn't cutting it!


lou said...

I would add to your list-
Peanut butter w/ jelly (it always lands top down).
Crackers that have already been smashed into kabillions of pieces by little hands even before reaching the floor.
And suckers-half eaten- red ones.
Good luck

:P, corrie said...

I'm also adding crafting scraps to your list. Those tiny little itty bitty papers/stickers/glitter things are hard to clean up, even my vacuum cleaner misses them sometimes! Hardwood makes it so easy to sweep up. We're looking at a rug, but I haven't found one that I like.

carrie said...

lol...i'm feelin ya there jamie! and when you've convinced the masses then your next mission should be tackling why carpet is a bad idea in the bathroom-i'm not making a list.

Patty said...

You really crack me up Jamie! I'm in total agreement about the carpeting in dining rooms- it just doesn't make any sense in real life!

Shayleen Lunt said...

I have several to add too: pizza (wait, did you already say that?), baby food and baby cereal.
I agree as well. I don't know why all apartments have to put carpet in the dining area. Since we moved into this house, I have told Aaron several times that I love not having carpet under the table.
You do a great job of keeping your floor clean though, it looked great when I saw it!

Poulsen Family said...

I would like to join you on your mission, but I will be like Robin to your cursade will be to convince people NOT TO PUT WHITE TILE IN THE KITCHEN!! Although easier to clean than carpet, still very big nuisance with all the before mentioned items, as well as anything fit for human consumption or not... even a drop of water or someone's dirty shoe with yucky hospital yuck on it...believe more shoes in my house.

Leslie said...

I think that is one of the most noble mission statements I have ever heard! You have my complete support in this movement!

Mama D said...

Carpet in the dining room had to be the idea of a man without children. Stupid, stupid thing to do!

Add to the list of food items not agreeable to carpet -- mashed potatoes. But they're white, you say, they won't stain. Hmmm... young kids, mom stepping out of dining room for just a few minutes, dad not home, massive food fight instigated, mashed pot. flung far and wide... Not pretty!!

We have not had such a food fight in our house ever again!!!!! That tells me that at least I know my kids understood how mad I was without me having to kill them. :]

Anonymous said...

When John and I were house shopping last year "no carpet in the dining room" was a requirement!! We put an offer on a house that did not meet this requirement and I KNOW that someone important was looking out for us when we didn't get the house. Kori Gammon

Dory said...

This is so funny! Can I add rice, spaghetti noodles and yes mac n cheese are the worst! It's bad enough on hard wood I can't imagine carpet. I hate that after dinner my choices are a)try to clean it with a sponge or b)wait till it dries and sweep it up tomorrow.