Tuesday, April 22, 2008

All I wanted was some chocolate ice cream . . .

I thought we would play a little game tonight. It's called the Bad Mommy game.

Are you ready?

The other day I took the kids to the library. (Good mommy!) I left the library holding a large stack of books and my purse in one arm and Lindsay in my other arm. Lindsay decided to pretend like she was a limp noodle and start sliding down one leg. I reached the car just as she was dangling by her arms and neck under my tightened grip. (Bad mommy!) I threw the books on the hood of the car and started to scoop her up. Forgetting that I had another child practically glued to my leg, I turned, tripped over Allison, and started to fall. I somehow managed to hold on to Lindsay, but I knocked Allison down and then fell on my back. I also managed to land in the dirtiest part of the parking lot, right in the oil drippings from someone's car. (Bad mommy!) We were all fine, just very dirty.

Note that I kept my calm and did not use any naughty words. (Good mommy.)

Last night I ran to the grocery store with the kids. Once again I tried to carry too much stuff. I grabbed my groceries in one arm and Lindsay's car seat in the other. When I got to the door, I realized that there was no way I could open it. So I sat the milk down on one of the posts for the deck and unlocked the door. I turned to pick up the milk and accidentally bumped the post with the car seat. The milk toppled to the ground and exploded. (Bad mommy.)

It was lovely.

Allison was screaming and crying, "I sorry, I sorry, I sorry, mommy." (Oh, bad, bad, mommy.) I finally calmed her down and started cleaning up the lake of milk on my porch and deck. I was able to hose most of it off pretty easily, so I figured "why cry over spilled milk?" (Sorry, I had to get that out of my system.)

Note that I kept my calm and didn't say any naughty words. (Good mommy.)

I started to put the groceries away, and I picked up what I thought was some low-fat chocolate ice cream thingies. I realized that I had picked up coffee flavored ice cream instead. So I said it. "Oh hell."

Then I heard a little voice from clear across the house, "Oh hell. Oh hell, oh hell, oh hell."

BAD, BAD, BAD MOMMY!

11 comments:

Papa D said...

It's amazing the tape recorders that are playing in our kids' heads.

Poulsen Family said...

lol, poor jamie, I have been there. Today I had all three kids in the big pool by myself. Why do I do that to myself?

Leslie said...

Did I ever tell you that my first car was named Dammit? Yup. It used to die all the time, and was particularly fond of dying in the middle of a left-hand turn with on-coming traffic. I found that if you called it by name, it sort of woke it back up.
Maybe you could explain to Allison that 'oh hell' is another name for coffee flavored ice cream -- afterall, it's not too likely that she'll encounter it much in her life. ;)

Kris said...

I love your blog! Sorry dear, I know where you learned that "word"...from your dad (JUST KIDDING)! I think it's probably genetics kicking in don't you?

Kori said...

I love the story Jamie, I needed a good laugh! I guess I need to cherish the short time we have left until Spencer starts repeating everything we say. John is known to say "put a filter on it Kor".

The Smith Six said...

I think a little Grandma Irene was coming out in you! Don't worry, we all have that "cussing under our breaths" gene. If I had a dollar for every time that phrase has escaped my lips, (especially after having children) I'd be a millionaire!

Mama D said...

We all have days/weeks like this. I think I would have been using some naughty words far earlier in the week, so I say kudos to you for keeping your calm as long as you did! I just "love" it when kids say or do things that you wish they WOULDN'T copy. Luckily, most of the time, it's the good things they emulate!

I think you're doing a wonderful job, and those good things are going to outweigh the bad "let's copy mommy!" moments.

Patty said...

I love Leslie's idea! I think Aimee must have thought her first name was Dammit for the first 4 or 5 years of her life. (Thankfully I don't think she remembers it.) I'm still impressed that "oh hell" is the worst that came out!!

chelle said...

lol Jamie. What a week you are having. Couldn't be all the stress you are feeling of hosting for a lot of unknowns at your house tonight...could it?!? I am glad everyone is ok...and hmm I think maybe I would feel better if I had a few of "those words" slip out every once in a while....hmm better yet...I am sure my words would be far worse than yours lol.
Hang in there girl! I hope tonight went well.

heather said...

That was pretty funny. Why is it they don't go around repeating all the good things we say but as soon as we slip they become a parrot. You are a great mom!!

The Wild Bunch said...

If I had a nickel.....:) Was the grocery store a Wal-Mart? I'd blame it on Wal-Mart if I were you!