I thought we would play a little game tonight. It's called the Bad Mommy game.
Are you ready?
The other day I took the kids to the library. (Good mommy!) I left the library holding a large stack of books and my purse in one arm and Lindsay in my other arm. Lindsay decided to pretend like she was a limp noodle and start sliding down one leg. I reached the car just as she was dangling by her arms and neck under my tightened grip. (Bad mommy!) I threw the books on the hood of the car and started to scoop her up. Forgetting that I had another child practically glued to my leg, I turned, tripped over Allison, and started to fall. I somehow managed to hold on to Lindsay, but I knocked Allison down and then fell on my back. I also managed to land in the dirtiest part of the parking lot, right in the oil drippings from someone's car. (Bad mommy!) We were all fine, just very dirty.
Note that I kept my calm and did not use any naughty words. (Good mommy.)
Last night I ran to the grocery store with the kids. Once again I tried to carry too much stuff. I grabbed my groceries in one arm and Lindsay's car seat in the other. When I got to the door, I realized that there was no way I could open it. So I sat the milk down on one of the posts for the deck and unlocked the door. I turned to pick up the milk and accidentally bumped the post with the car seat. The milk toppled to the ground and exploded. (Bad mommy.)
It was lovely.
Allison was screaming and crying, "I sorry, I sorry, I sorry, mommy." (Oh, bad, bad, mommy.) I finally calmed her down and started cleaning up the lake of milk on my porch and deck. I was able to hose most of it off pretty easily, so I figured "why cry over spilled milk?" (Sorry, I had to get that out of my system.)
Note that I kept my calm and didn't say any naughty words. (Good mommy.)
I started to put the groceries away, and I picked up what I thought was some low-fat chocolate ice cream thingies. I realized that I had picked up coffee flavored ice cream instead. So I said it. "Oh hell."
Then I heard a little voice from clear across the house, "Oh hell. Oh hell, oh hell, oh hell."
BAD, BAD, BAD MOMMY!