Overheard

I think Steve's been spending a little too much time at the hospital. He was reading Allison Disney's Cinderella as a bedtime story. I overheard him tell Allison that Cinderella had two wicked stepsisters, Drizella and "Anesthesia."

Oh, and just to clarify, the creepy Thanksgiving poem was a joint effort with my husband. I promise that we aren't really that scary--it was kind of an inside joke gone bad.

Don't tell the Department of Labor

I've been looking over my recent posts and I realized that I have strayed from my original intention for this blog. I originally started this to keep in touch with family and to share a few pictures. I seem to be spending more time venting than sharing pieces of our normally happy lives. So tonight I say, here's to less thinking and more pictures.

Wow, I'm tired. That sentence sounded better in my head.

We've been thinking about hiring a maid. We're not sure child labor laws will allow this:


For a two-year old, she does a pretty good job. If the maid thing doesn't work out, I'm thinking about teaching her to cook. Surely she can at least cook something better than this gourmet meal:



Steve has put her to work in the yard raking leaves and weeding. He says that he his going to cut her pay in half for this little incident:



On the other hand, he did get her back.



Lindsay is just nervous for her turn to come. As soon as she can hold a dishrag, we'll put her to work.

Steve quits his job to become a royal smoothie maker

These are the pictures of the kids that I promised. This is what Lindsay looks like when Daddy does her hair. Steve's thinking about quitting his current job to become a stylist. What do you think?



These are my pretty princesses. See how they love each other?



Allison is trying to learn proper ways to express her affection. She still has some work to do.



This is Lindsay's response to being smothered.



I was so jealous of the Blendtec blender that I bought a new blender. Unfortunately, my 30 dollars didn't produce the results that I wanted. When I put golf balls in my blender it just laughed at me. Then it exploded.

My new blender does make a mean smoothie, however. This is us after trying Steve's delicious Orange Julius.

Bloodsucking Vampires

fractious \FRAK-shuhs\, adjective:
1. Tending to cause trouble; unruly.
2. Irritable; snappish; cranky.

I've had vampires on my mind recently.

My little angel of a baby has turned into a cranky vampire. For the past week she has had these HORRIBLE crying spells. Lindsay is a cheerful baby, but when she gets upset she sounds like someone is torturing her. I have been at my wits end trying to keep her happy. I finally discovered the cause of all the mayhem--she's teething. And not only is my precocious three-month-old teething, but she is growing FANGS! Most kids seem to get teeth in the front, but my little vampire seems to be sprouting eyeteeth just in time for Halloween. I wish I could I could take a good picture of her teeth, but I will have to wait until they come in all the way.

I finished a fantastic book about teenage vampires this week. I'd read Stephenie Meyer's first two books in the Twilight series and enjoyed both, but I was not prepared to be so engrossed in the third book. I picked it up one morning and decided to read just a few chapters while the kids were asleep. Four hours later-- when I finally came to my senses--I realized that I had zipped through most of the book. I was able to put it aside for a few hours until Steve got home, but as soon as he walked through the door I handed my fractious infant to him and buried myself in the book again. At 10:00 that night, I came out of my teen fiction-induced stupor, having finished an amazing book, but having no idea what happened in the real world. Sometimes I can't seem to stop when I pick up a book. I have no self control. I have now banished myself from the library (except for story time)for at least a month.

This last week we also had a slight scare with a bloodborne pathogen. Steve got stuck by a contaminated needle during a surgery last week. There were some concerns that the patient possibly had Hepatitis C. Luckily, the lab results showed no signs of any bloodborne diseases.

I had not really given much thought to what life would be like if someone in our family had a possibly life-threatening disease--especially one that was contagious. I can't imagine how difficult life would be. I had a friend in nursing school who had Hepatitis C and I never realized how that must limit what she does. Even when your body seems healthy and strong, you have to constantly wonder if it will start to deteriorate. And the worry about passing the disease to someone else--especially someone you love--must be heartbreaking. I hadn't really thought of Steve's job being dangerous, but I guess every job must have its occupational hazards.

I promise I will post some great pictures of the kids soon. I'm still having some trouble with my computer.

The word of the day is . . .

When my sisters came to visit last summer, we played a fun game. One of my sisters was studying for the GMAT and had several vocabulary words to learn. We decided that to help her learn we would pick a word every day and try and use it throughout the day in various contexts. It was thoroughly entertaining. So I've decided to apply this game to my blog. Every week I will try and find a new word and I will try to use it somewhere in my blog. If you have suggestions, please feel free to make them. I'm hoping that I will be able to expand my vocabulary a little, even if I can't remember most of the words more than a few days. This week's word is:





jeremiad \jair-uh-MY-uhd\, noun: A tale of sorrow, disappointment, or complaint; a doleful story; also, a dolorous or angry tirade.





I also thought I would post a few pictures that have been hanging out on my camera.

I tried to take some pictures to show how chubby Lindsay is getting. She started out as a scrawny little bird and she's fattening up nicely.

I love fat babies. Every time I look at this picture I want to do some serious cheek-pinching. Have you ever seen jowls like that?

Last weekend we went to the local amusement park. Allison had lots of fun riding the rides. She especially liked this ride because she got to sit next to this random cutie. Notice how she's checking him out. Do you think he'll notice how she is eyeing him?

We also went swimming at the pool at the amusement park. I had a hard time getting her in the water, but after a few minutes she didn't want to leave. Notice my fancy photography. I'm really good at chopping off people's heads with my camera. It's a good thing Steve doesn't have a job where he has to think very much.

And this brings me to my final picture. I don't think people fully appreciate the spectrum of Allison's moods. Most people only see the sweet happy girl she is most of the time. But sometimes she wants people to hear her jeremiad. Sometimes she just wants someone to listen.

The GamFam will be proud

Warning: If you have a weak stomach or are opposed to reading about bathroom habits DO NOT READ FURTHER. I post this mainly to impress Steve's family.

Before I married Steve I had no idea he had a family secret. A BIG secret. A secret I discovered on our honeymoon. Late one evening Steve went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. I waited for him to come out so I could use the bathroom next. I waited, and waited, and waited. Then I timidly knocked on the door. (We were still on our honeymoon, so of course I knocked.)

"Steve, are you okay?"

"Um. No."

"What's the matter?"

"Um."

"Steve, are you sick?"

"Not exactly."

"Then, what's wrong?"

"Well . . . I sort of plugged the toilet."

"You what?"

"I flooded the toilet, okay? There's no plunger in here, so can you please go down to the front desk and ask for one?"

At this point we argued for a few minutes because I was too embarrassed to go ask the attendant at the front desk for a plunger. I'm can't remember why I caved, but I eventually trudged down to the front desk. The attendant at the desk looked at me dumbly when I made my request:

"You want what?"

"A plunger. You see, my husband flooded the toilet." (Notice that I make sure to specify that I was not the culprit. Heaven forbid that someone think that I clogged the toilet.)

The girl at the desk looked at me strangely and then went into the janitors closet to look for a plunger. She returned empty handed.

"We don't have a plunger."

"You're sure? You don't have one anywhere?"

"Nope."

"Um. What am I supposed to do then? It's almost 11 o'clock at night."

"I dunno." (Did I mention that the attendant was probably still be in high school?)

"All right," I sighed. "I guess we'll figure something out."

I realize now that I probably should have made the attendant look again. I mean after all, this can't have been the first time the hotel had this problem. They had to have a plunger SOMEWHERE. Instead I hauled my confrontation-avoiding hiney back to the room and told Steve the sad news. We ended up at some grocery store at 11:30 at night buying a plunger. Our first plunger. How romantic. I should have seen the signs then.

It wasn't until I shared this experience at a Gammon family get-together that I found out the full secret.

The Gammon siblings have intestines of steel. Apparently, it was at least a weekly occurrence for someone to plug the toilet when the kids were growing up. And it wasn't just the boys. Steve's brother-in-laws swear that they have to keep industrial-style plungers in their homes to keep those Gammon girls from overflowing the white throne. And according to Steve's toilet-clogging siblings, the toilet does not flood from an over use of toilet paper--if you get my drift.

Anyway. I have a point to this disgusting story.

This afternoon, in an effort to avoid a nap, Allison informed me that she went "poo-poo in pants." I took her to the bathroom and pulled down her pants to find a baseball-sized mess in her pants. After disposing of the "poo-poo ball" (this was Al's term, not mine) into the toilet, I went to flush.

My two-year old flooded the toilet.

Eww.

North Carolina Trip and Random Pictures

Jamie says I have to post something. Here is my first attempt at blogging:

Today we got back from a 4 day trip to North Carolina to visit Dave and Serena. We left last Friday after I got off from work and drove all night until 4:00AM. We decided to do it this way so Allison and Lindsay would sleep most of the way.

Over the weekend we cruised "The Triad" and "The Triangle" seeing all the immense sights and sounds of these locations. For Non-North Carolinans, "The Triad" is composed of Greensboro, Winston-Salem, and High Point, and "The Triangle" is composed of Raleigh, Durham, and Chapel Hill. Allison enjoyed paddle-boating in a nearby lake and practicing her artist skills at the Greensboro Art Museum.

Allison became the Queen of Dave and Serena's home. Within minutes of arriving at their home, she walked around like she owned the place leaving a wake behind her wherever she went. Lindsay didn't care one way or the other as long as she was being held by whoever.

Here's Dr. Allison with her surgeon's cap:

Here's where we live (as seen from Schuyler Nichols' plane):

Lindsay needs to be on this post too: