News from the front

It's official.

The parents took a huge hit tonight in the sleeping wars. The battle was almost lost. Enemy #1 and Enemy #2 pulled out the heavy artillery--the piercing, shrieking cry of Enemy #2 AND the bum-scratching-rash-that-keeps-her-awake-and-smelling-like-stinky-rear-end of Enemy #1.

It was a lengthy battle, one full of tears, yelling, and temper-tantrums--from both the parents and their pint-size enemies. The parents had to fight with limited resources. One of the parent soldiers was MIA because he took the night off and spent it taking care of injured kids at the hospital. That left the cranky, emotional female soldier, and she is currently experiencing a little PTSD. And a little PMS.

We're thinking about calling in back up. If the Super-Nanny isn't available, then we might have to call in the Marines.

Help.

Overheard

I think Steve's been spending a little too much time at the hospital. He was reading Allison Disney's Cinderella as a bedtime story. I overheard him tell Allison that Cinderella had two wicked stepsisters, Drizella and "Anesthesia."

Oh, and just to clarify, the creepy Thanksgiving poem was a joint effort with my husband. I promise that we aren't really that scary--it was kind of an inside joke gone bad.

Don't tell the Department of Labor

I've been looking over my recent posts and I realized that I have strayed from my original intention for this blog. I originally started this to keep in touch with family and to share a few pictures. I seem to be spending more time venting than sharing pieces of our normally happy lives. So tonight I say, here's to less thinking and more pictures.

Wow, I'm tired. That sentence sounded better in my head.

We've been thinking about hiring a maid. We're not sure child labor laws will allow this:


For a two-year old, she does a pretty good job. If the maid thing doesn't work out, I'm thinking about teaching her to cook. Surely she can at least cook something better than this gourmet meal:



Steve has put her to work in the yard raking leaves and weeding. He says that he his going to cut her pay in half for this little incident:



On the other hand, he did get her back.



Lindsay is just nervous for her turn to come. As soon as she can hold a dishrag, we'll put her to work.

Train up a child . . .

Finally! Today I finally got feedback from my child that I am teaching her correct principles:

Me: "Hmmm . . . should we go to Wal-Mart or Target to do our shopping?"

Allison: "Mommy, I go Target."


Wow. Am I a great mom or what?

Halloween fashion show

Did you know that November is National Blog Posting Month? The people at this website have issued a challenge to post something everyday during the month of November. Can you imagine? I would never get anything done--I would be too busy reading blogs all day. So I don't know if I can make the challenge, but I thought I would start by at least trying to post every day for the rest of this week. We'll see.

Anyway, here are some pictures of the kids for Halloween. We went through many options to arrive at our FANTASTIC final costumes. (I think that all kids must go through this, Dory!) Allison originally wanted to be a princess. As you can see here, we really like princesses at our house.


Next she decided that she wanted to be the black Spiderman. I think she got the idea from this little friend. Allison ran around the house for several days singing the Spiderman song and shooting pretend spiderwebs out of her wrists. I was glad when the Spiderman costume was no longer a popular option at our house.

Allison went through many other costume ideas--clowns, mermaids, pumpkins, etc. I personally thought it was funny when she decided to try out the whole Lucha Libre look. I was going to buy her some stretchy pants, but Steve thought that it was a little too macho for his little girl.

(Yes, that is a pair of Little Mermaid underpants on her head. Don't ask.)

Steve and Allison then decided to try out the popular pirate theme.

(Yes, I do know it is not politically correct to make fun of handicapped pirates. I had a serious talk with Steve.)

Lindsay decided to get in on the action. She liked being the queen of the house, but Allison didn't like anyone else moving in on her current title.


Then Lindsay thought she would try to recreate that scene from A Christmas Story--the one where the kid can't move because he's got too many winter clothes on.



So here are the final costumes. This is Allison as a ladybug princess. I had her ladybug costume from last year, and I didn't want to make or buy a new one. Allison became really fixated on being a princess, so we compromised by letting her be a ladybug princess. That way, all I had to do was give her a crown and a wand. (Thanks for the idea, Lindsay P.)


Our little Lindsay was the cutest bunny on the block. Okay, she was the only bunny on the block, but she was still cute.


Steve decided to go a little crazy and be a doctor for Halloween. I decided to be a witch for Halloween--that way I didn't have to dress up too much.


I hope you enjoyed our Halloween fashion show. We had a great time trick-or-treating with the kids and spending time with Rachel and Jesse. Have a good day!

Dinner adventures with the Gammons

Have you ever had a night like mine tonight?

I decided against going to the grocery store tonight and decided to get creative with what I had in the fridge. I turned the oven on and mixed everything together and popped it into the oven. I decided I had just enough time to feed Lindsay and pick up some of the mess Allison had made before my casserole was done.

I fed Lindsay and then put her down on the couch, intending to come back after grabbing something from the kitchen. I was distracted from my quest, however, by the smoke billowing from the oven. I opened the oven door, pulled the casserole out, and then tried to open all the doors and windows to prevent the smoke alarm from going off. I was not quick enough.

Meanwhile, Allison decided that it was time to go potty. She kept tugging on my leg saying, "Mommy, potty. Potty, mommy! MOMMY, POTTY!"

Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, I heard a thump followed by a wail from the other room. Lindsay apparently decided that it would be an appropriate time to learn how to roll over. She doesn't have very good timing.

Eventually, I got everything and everyone calmed down. I scraped the blackened breadcrumbs off the top of my casserole. I fiddled with the oven long enough to realize that when I set it on bake, it turns on the broil setting instead. I guess I'm going to have to find someone who fixes ovens.

Sometimes making dinner is an adventure.

Steve quits his job to become a royal smoothie maker

These are the pictures of the kids that I promised. This is what Lindsay looks like when Daddy does her hair. Steve's thinking about quitting his current job to become a stylist. What do you think?



These are my pretty princesses. See how they love each other?



Allison is trying to learn proper ways to express her affection. She still has some work to do.



This is Lindsay's response to being smothered.



I was so jealous of the Blendtec blender that I bought a new blender. Unfortunately, my 30 dollars didn't produce the results that I wanted. When I put golf balls in my blender it just laughed at me. Then it exploded.

My new blender does make a mean smoothie, however. This is us after trying Steve's delicious Orange Julius.

If you were wondering what I want for Christmas . . .

When Steve's brother John came to visit a few weeks ago, he introduced us to this this fantastic website called www.willitblend.com. If you haven't seen these videos, they are highly entertaining. Make sure you click on the "Do not try this at home" button. I especially recommend watching them blend hockey pucks and golf balls. Amazing!

I posted the glow sticks video as a little tribute to Allison. Allison decided to drink the liquid inside a glow stick on Labor Day. In case you were wondering, the mixture tastes "yucky". It made her sick to her stomach, but did not cause any lasting damage. We also got to talk to our good friends at the poison control center. We've had many a conversation with these helpful folks. I hope they don't keep a record of how many times we've called--Allison has a tendency to eat all sorts of "yucky" things.

The word of the day is . . .

When my sisters came to visit last summer, we played a fun game. One of my sisters was studying for the GMAT and had several vocabulary words to learn. We decided that to help her learn we would pick a word every day and try and use it throughout the day in various contexts. It was thoroughly entertaining. So I've decided to apply this game to my blog. Every week I will try and find a new word and I will try to use it somewhere in my blog. If you have suggestions, please feel free to make them. I'm hoping that I will be able to expand my vocabulary a little, even if I can't remember most of the words more than a few days. This week's word is:





jeremiad \jair-uh-MY-uhd\, noun: A tale of sorrow, disappointment, or complaint; a doleful story; also, a dolorous or angry tirade.





I also thought I would post a few pictures that have been hanging out on my camera.

I tried to take some pictures to show how chubby Lindsay is getting. She started out as a scrawny little bird and she's fattening up nicely.

I love fat babies. Every time I look at this picture I want to do some serious cheek-pinching. Have you ever seen jowls like that?

Last weekend we went to the local amusement park. Allison had lots of fun riding the rides. She especially liked this ride because she got to sit next to this random cutie. Notice how she's checking him out. Do you think he'll notice how she is eyeing him?

We also went swimming at the pool at the amusement park. I had a hard time getting her in the water, but after a few minutes she didn't want to leave. Notice my fancy photography. I'm really good at chopping off people's heads with my camera. It's a good thing Steve doesn't have a job where he has to think very much.

And this brings me to my final picture. I don't think people fully appreciate the spectrum of Allison's moods. Most people only see the sweet happy girl she is most of the time. But sometimes she wants people to hear her jeremiad. Sometimes she just wants someone to listen.

The GamFam will be proud

Warning: If you have a weak stomach or are opposed to reading about bathroom habits DO NOT READ FURTHER. I post this mainly to impress Steve's family.

Before I married Steve I had no idea he had a family secret. A BIG secret. A secret I discovered on our honeymoon. Late one evening Steve went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. I waited for him to come out so I could use the bathroom next. I waited, and waited, and waited. Then I timidly knocked on the door. (We were still on our honeymoon, so of course I knocked.)

"Steve, are you okay?"

"Um. No."

"What's the matter?"

"Um."

"Steve, are you sick?"

"Not exactly."

"Then, what's wrong?"

"Well . . . I sort of plugged the toilet."

"You what?"

"I flooded the toilet, okay? There's no plunger in here, so can you please go down to the front desk and ask for one?"

At this point we argued for a few minutes because I was too embarrassed to go ask the attendant at the front desk for a plunger. I'm can't remember why I caved, but I eventually trudged down to the front desk. The attendant at the desk looked at me dumbly when I made my request:

"You want what?"

"A plunger. You see, my husband flooded the toilet." (Notice that I make sure to specify that I was not the culprit. Heaven forbid that someone think that I clogged the toilet.)

The girl at the desk looked at me strangely and then went into the janitors closet to look for a plunger. She returned empty handed.

"We don't have a plunger."

"You're sure? You don't have one anywhere?"

"Nope."

"Um. What am I supposed to do then? It's almost 11 o'clock at night."

"I dunno." (Did I mention that the attendant was probably still be in high school?)

"All right," I sighed. "I guess we'll figure something out."

I realize now that I probably should have made the attendant look again. I mean after all, this can't have been the first time the hotel had this problem. They had to have a plunger SOMEWHERE. Instead I hauled my confrontation-avoiding hiney back to the room and told Steve the sad news. We ended up at some grocery store at 11:30 at night buying a plunger. Our first plunger. How romantic. I should have seen the signs then.

It wasn't until I shared this experience at a Gammon family get-together that I found out the full secret.

The Gammon siblings have intestines of steel. Apparently, it was at least a weekly occurrence for someone to plug the toilet when the kids were growing up. And it wasn't just the boys. Steve's brother-in-laws swear that they have to keep industrial-style plungers in their homes to keep those Gammon girls from overflowing the white throne. And according to Steve's toilet-clogging siblings, the toilet does not flood from an over use of toilet paper--if you get my drift.

Anyway. I have a point to this disgusting story.

This afternoon, in an effort to avoid a nap, Allison informed me that she went "poo-poo in pants." I took her to the bathroom and pulled down her pants to find a baseball-sized mess in her pants. After disposing of the "poo-poo ball" (this was Al's term, not mine) into the toilet, I went to flush.

My two-year old flooded the toilet.

Eww.

Water parks, cowboy boots, and Vanilla Ice

I love having a digital camera. We bought it about three months ago and it is worth every penny. We are inching our way into the world of technology--we still don't have a cell phone. (We did have a cell phone when we moved to Cincinnati, but that's another story--one involving a bucket of water and me being a klutz.) Anyway. I love having a digital camera. It still amazes me every time I sit down and download pictures onto the computer. It takes less than 10 seconds to move pictures from our camera to the computer. With our old camera it would take months, even years before we would finally see what our pictures turned out like. (We aren't very good about getting film developed.) Even then we could not delete the pictures that didn't turn out so great. We just had to live with them. With the digital camera, I can take a look at the picture and say "Wow, do I really look like that?" and then happily delete it.

So we took the opportunity to use the digital camera this weekend. Steve had the whole weekend off--it was FANTASTIC! We have so much fun when he's around. After completing the list of chores I had compiled on Saturday, we decided to take the kids to the wet playground and then play Frisbee golf. We had a great time. Allison had fun running through water and laughing at us every time she sprayed Steve or me. Lindsay even got wet--Steve styled her hair to dry so that she would look like "Vanilla Ice". (Yep, that's the man I married.)

Allison also got a new pair of boots this weekend. A couple of months ago we found the COOLEST pink boots at Target. Allison campaigned hard to get them, (mostly by whining and crying) but Mommy just couldn't justify the price tag. When I was a Target this weekend, however, I found the boots on clearance for $3.00. So Allison got a new pair of boots this weekend. She loves, loves, loves them. She won't take them off! She wanted to wear them to the water park and she wanted to wear them to bed last night. Did I mention that she loves them? Steve and I got a big kick out of the fashion show that we had to go through in order to find a dress that she could wear them with to church. She looked so cute when we finally found "the right dress" that we just had to take a picture.

My cute girls

My Greenish-Brown Thumb

Steve is on call tonight. This pediatric rotation has been tougher than he thought it would be. He spends a lot of time at work and then has meetings, projects, and studying to do once he is done with his 12-14 hour day. He really likes his work, however, and still thinks that this might be "his thing."

I took one of the first squash off the zucchini plant tonight. It seems that a small animal has decided to raid our garden. My bet is a squirrel, though I have seen rabbits in our yard. Our tomatoes and peppers have perfectly round bite marks in them. I'm not sure what to do to get rid of the pests. When I first moved to Missouri I thought they were cute. Now I am trying to decide if I should purchase a 12 gauge shot gun or try rat poison. Our garden is pretty sad right now. Steve's job was to water the plants, but he has been too busy to do so. I have also neglected them, but my goal is to start watering every day--at least our planters. I went to water Rachel's plants today (she is out of town) and her plants are beautiful. I'm trying to take inspiration from her diligent care for her plants. Dad will probably disown me if he sees our yard! Where did the Ellison green thumb go?

Allison fell down and skinned her knee while we were at Rachel's apartment today. We were going out to our car and she took off running straight out to the parking lot. I yelled at her to stop, but she just kept going. As soon as I started to go after her, she biffed it. (Is "biffed" really a word? I'll have to look that one up.) I think I must be a bad parent because what I wanted to say was "Serves you right!" I tried to reign in that instinct, but I had a hard time being sympathetic. A skinned knee is very dramatic to my little 2-year old. She kept showing me her boo-boo and wanting kisses all day. My heart warmed just a little bit when she wanted to kiss Lindsay's "boo-boo" better when Lindsay started crying tonight.

I had better end this now. I have the hardest time going to bed when Steve's on call. I mop the floor, I read a book, I work on a project, and now I write in a blog. I guess I need to stop procrastinating the inevitable. Good night!